Rosendale Ramblings By Sari Botton

Last night we went to a fun Cinco de Mayo party down the block. I was especially relaxed, and I attribute that to what took place before the party: Brian and I had a little ceremonial bonfire that I used to mark an ending and a beginning for myself.

We had all these dried twigs and things that came from when Brian trimmed the hedges a few weeks ago, and had been waiting for an opportunity burn them. Some clearing out I’ve been doing – of my office, and my mind – made last night suddenly the right time.

In tidying my drawers, I came upon reams of papers, notes and rough drafts, from a book I ghost-wrote last year. It was a project that I enjoyed, but that took a lot out of me, and didn’t quite support me in the ways I needed to be supported. I realized I needed to get rid of those thousands of sheets of paper in a more symbollic way than simply recycling them; I needed to mark the end of hiding behind other “authors,” and not fully recognizing or honoring the value of my work.

Helping other people write their books – while it’s served me well in many ways, no longer really does. I am grateful for the experiences I’ve had. But, time to concentrate on writing my own book already.

And so, the ceremony of a bonfire, making room in my work space, and my headspace, for things that reflect and resonate with where I am now.